A father goes to his up to his son and tells him "Son, you're almost 13. It's about time you started to learn the value of a dollar. So, from now on, I'm going to give you 5 dollars a week, so that you can see the importance of spending your money wisely".
The son replies "I make $700 a night renting my delicate asshole to frustrated businessmen".
"I thought you looked familiar."